Beer Comments

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an
 airline--it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or 
 some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.   
 -Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you
 to keep your mouth shut.   -Ernest Hemingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
 has taken out of me.   -Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.   -Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.  
 -Catherine Zandonella

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
 thank her.  -W.C. Fields

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us
 stomachs.   -David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.   -Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. 
 -Henny Youngman

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
 makes beer shoot out your nose.   -Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
 is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
 but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.   -Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
 -Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold?  So you can tell it from urine.  
 -David Moulton

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they
 just like to pee a lot.   -Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.  
 -Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.  
 -Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad.  Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
 oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient
 in beer.  -Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.   -George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.   -Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
 with his fools.   -For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.  
 -Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me--so let's
 just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.   -Homer Simpson