"Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck.

"It's Snow ... Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?"

"Me, I'm June ... June Hansen," she said.

After a short while she asked, "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?"

"Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered, ....having eight inches of Snow in June?"

"Turning Him On!

Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The first old lady said she enjoyed sex now just as much as ever.

The second old lady was surprised and asked her what her secret was.

The first old lady said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head. When her husband comes into the bedroom, he gets turned on and has his way with her.

The second old lady decides to try this approach. So that night when she heard her husband coming home, she takes a quick shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head.

Her husband comes into the bedroom, takes one look and says, "For God's sake Maude, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you're starting to look like an asshole!"


"Sharing Good News"

"Pregnant!!"

A young lady had just visited her doctor, and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share her good news with someone. The gentleman sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with.

"Sir," she said, "I just received the best news you could ever imagine. I have to share it with someone, or I'll bust."

She told him the news that the doctor had told her about being pregnant. The man shared her enthusiam as he shared his experience. He said he was a farmer, and he had trouble with his hens laying eggs. He stated that he went out to the hen house one morning and all of his hens had layed eggs. He was so happy, he added,

"But confidentially, I changed cocks."

The newly pregnant woman responded, "Confidentially, .........me, too."

"Abstinence"

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"

The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"

"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.

"What happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore either."

"Hot Day"

One very hot afternoon a woman decides she'll walk downtown and go shopping. Since it's so hot, she decides not to wear any panties, just a loose skirt.

On the way home, she decides to stop for a drink at an unfamiliar bar. She walk in and sits down with a stool between here and the only other patron in the place, a guy.

Trying to cool off, she swings around and puts her feet up on the stool between her and the guy. He looks down and can see all the way up her dress, including the fun zone.

He tries to be cool about, but finally he can't take it anymore, and he says, "Honey, I'd like to pack that thing with ice cream and eat it!"

She gets pissed and jumps up and leaves the bar. On arriving home she finds her husband, tells him the stroy, and demands that he goes down and kicks the guys ass.

However, her husband refuses.

She asks for one good reason why he won't, and he gives her three:

1. She should never have left the house without any panties.

2. She should never have gone into a strange bar by herself.

3. He ain't fucking with no man that can eat that much ice cream.