"Nice House"
Carlos calls his boss in the morning:
Ey, boss i not come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach
ache, my legs hurt I not come work.
The boss says:
You know Carlos I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my
wife and tell her to give me a blowjob. That makes me feel better and I
can go to work. You should try that.
2 hours later Carlos calls:
Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, I'll be at work soon. And by
the way, you got a nice house.
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"Questions Answered"
How do you tell that you have a high sperm count?
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Why are electric trains like women's breasts?
They were designed for kids, but the father usually
winds up playing with them.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me!"
How come Mike Tyson's eyes water during sex?
Mace.
What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's
batteries in backwards?
He keeps coming, and coming, and coming..........
How did the Dairy Queen become pregnant?
Cause the Burger King forgot to cover his Whopper.
Why did man invent alcohol?
So ugly women could have sex too.
What do soy beans and vibrators have in common?
They are both meat substitutes.
What is the difference between erotic sex and freaky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather, during freaky sex
you use the whole damn chicken.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one hell of
a blowjob!"
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
The frog says "ribbit, ribbit", and the horny toad
says "rub-it, rub-it".
What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have
in common?
They can both smell it, but they can't eat it.
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