Q u o t e s . o f . t h e D a y
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago it took
two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today,
a five- year-old can do it."
     - Henny Youngman

"I don't have an hourglass figure. I have an hour and a
half. I have a little too much time on my ass."
     - Wendy Liebman

"I always thought that someone should make a movie based on
those 'Star Wars' books, but apparently it's already been
tried."
     - Matthew Diamond (from Ruminations at topfive.com)

----------------------

MEN BASHING Q&A

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling
around on the ground, in pain?
Shoot him again!

Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and
the noose.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to
revolve around him.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him
brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a man in handcuffs?
Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for
breath, and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after
mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
By renaming the mail folder to "instruction manuals".